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calextheneko
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Really I'm just upset cause I haven't had internet access in so long. So lets take out my frustration by insulting something that has absolutely nothing to do with it.

Oh I know!

Wolverine I choose you!

So a couple weeks ago I saw the X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Honestly, I only saw the movie cause I heard Gambit and Deadpool were in it. And Deadpool is awesome. If you agree with that statement you probably won't like the movie.

So right on to ranting, spoilers abound so read at your own risk.

Lets start with the basic. Wolverine, the main character. Am I the only person who finds him to be completely uninteresting. I mean I guess maybe he might be interesting if I hadn't seen so much of him as he's apparently the poster child of Marvel or something. Aside from being a mostly angst filled character and not really being relatable the thing that really bugs me and makes me dislike him is he's a boring invincible hero. Sure he loses a few battles from now, but there's not much tension when you always know he's going to get better. I think they even threw him into the sun at one point in the comics.

So anyways, Wolverine and Sabretooth are brothers in the movie. I think they are in some comics and aren't in others. Also, Sabretooth is now a snarker, which is kinda weird considering this is a prequal to X-Men 1 and so in the same continuity, I don't remember him being able to say anything in that movie other than 'Growl growl snarl snarl'.  But whatever, lets roll with it.

So they join a team of mutants and fight terrorist  by murdering natives in Africa and stealing shiny rocks from drug dealers. Wolverine begins to suspect they may in fact be evil so leaves. Leader of said group decides he's tired of being the heroic sociopath so orders Sabretooth and some guy who's good with guns to kill all the other members of the team. He apparently wants to be a card carrying villain but still have good publicty or something. They give him a Freudian Excuse about his son and wife but largely he's not discussed to much.

Instead here's a scene of Wolverine fighting a helicopter.

Honestly, the guy is a really stupid villain. After getting Wolverine to volenteer for the Weapon X Project he gives the orders to erase his memory. Makes sense but I dunno... Maybe he should have given the order in advance. I mean if you're gonna backstab someone you don't do it when they're right in front of you, even if you think they're unconscious. I mean the guy has super healing and just about every super sense in the book, you probably shouldn't announce your plans to backstab him within a 1 mile radius.

Another fight scene. Just in case you were wondering if maybe the villains had some kinda claim to being good they murder an old couple for the sole purpose of guilt tripping Wolverwine by saying "Innocent people die around you." I guess they're trying to make sure you don't feel any tiny shred of empathy for the bad guys while Wolverine is ripping them apart.

So anyways Gambit does show up in the movie or Iikely wouldn't have seen it. I think he was Wolverine's sidekick or something and his accent wasn't nearly thick enough. At least he made plenty Crowning Moments of Awesome in the little screen time he had.

The finale of the movie eventually comes down to Wolverine and Sabretooth vs Deadpool, who's mouth has been sewn shut. That is annoying? Why? Because the best thing about Deadpool and he never shuts up. How is he supposed to demolist the fourth wall if he can't talk? Honestly I don't even think of him as the real deadpool, same name different guy, because the real Deadpool would have actually been entertaining to watch. Anyways, like everyone else in the movie Wolverine kicks his ass because he's the Boring Invincible Hero. Oh right and Sabretooth is intent on telling Wolverines they're brothers everytime they meet in case they forget. Which he techincally does when he's hit by laser guided amnesia. Of course after that Sabretooth never says anything again besides 'growl growl snarl snarl.' Hooray for Discontinuity.

Honestly, that's how I'd describe the movie, it breaks a lot of continuity until the first movie. Though it gets credit for trying to maintain some continuity. Trying, and failing. Also Ema Frost was in it in a bit part, I wasn't aware she existed in this universe considering Cyclops dies before Jean can ever hook the two of them up.

Honestly, if you like Wolverine you'll like the movie, if you don't you probably won't.
 

All I know is it ruined all chances of ever getting a Deadpool movie. T_T

Though  maybe we can still get a Squirrel Girl movie. Best, superhero, ever.
 

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Alright gather around it's story time for the last BESM session. I should be doing homework right now but I just got back from paying my bills, and realized I'm broke so I'm writing up an RP log to distract me for a couple of minutes.

Anyways, as all of you, the whole two of you might remember from my last post I ended

So it started out slightly before it left off, which if you recall was the building the party was inside exploding after mandatory mysterious old man through a fireball at them. Except it didn't play out as they thought it did.

Instead, the fireball spell collided with Eon, and then did nothing.

Allow me to explain. Eon is who I previously referred to as the super spy James Bondish character. Essentially, his ability is that he's super normal. So normal, that magic doesn't effect him. As a result, the fireball didn't explode and instead just fizzled into nothing.

Very confused mage.

One round of combat, the old man is dead and laying in a pool of his own blood. Seems the party has avoided their fiery fate.

Naturally anyone who knows my GMing style or is genre savvy has a pretty good idea of what comes next. The place explodes anyways, as it turns out not to be caused by a fireball, but instaed a ballistic missile or whatever they're called.

Now, some might wander why an air to surface missile came flying into an underground labyrinth out of the blue and it would be a very good question. Sadly,  the party gets no answer yet. Though Eon probably has a clue, it is his fault.

But first! A plot hole must be remedied. Cut to a scene with Sam.

Sam is the character who actually plays a well intentioned police officer. Naturally, no good deed goes unpunished. As during one of the missions she wound up getting a werewolf thrown on top of her, and well she failed her saving throw. Then I rolled randomly to see what style of werewolf she'd be and what she'd look like in human form. Percentage dice naturally. So she wound up being stuck with a tail, ears, and fangs even in human form. Luckily for her, the party has access to cyberpunk style technology so they were easy enough to cloak.

However, when you pull a gun on a crowded airplane and start screaming zombies and shooting at the luggage you tend to get in trouble. So, she was arrested in the previous session, and locked up for that. In her defense, there were zombie snakes on that plane.

Hee hee.

So her story sums up, spaniard that beats up the party comes to see her, finds out she's a werewolf and throws her in the labyrinth. She tries to find her way around but not being immune to magic can't see straight so instead just follows the scent of bacon.

Oh right, also, the labyrinth smells of bacon and cinamon. It's best if you don't think about it.

So wondering around she eventually finds the exploded building and the party convienently gaining conscious as she shows up. There plot holes solved! Oh wait, there's a new party member to replace the guy that died..... A fox... Oh snap uh....

A fox falls out of a plot hole into the party!

Yeah, that's the explanation I went with.

So the recently exploded but still alive party having no item why they got hit with a random missile tried to make it out of the labyrinth. Except no one can see straight but Eon. So, Eon tries to drag everyone, but one person refuses to be dragged. Kite.

Kite is well.... Kite is Kite. He blows stuff up a lot. Doesn't especially matter if who's side its on it's flamable.

So, Kite can't see, so he tries to grab Sam's tail and follow that. Makes an attack roll, misses, grabs the seat of his pants instead and starts walking around in circles dragging himself. The perception spell on this place is fun.

Eventually he gets dragged anyways, and the party gets close to the exit. Then, it strikes midnight and they all feel the familiar wretching sensation from the last time a seal was broken. Yeah, it got broken without them even being there. Perhaps, a bit of an anti-climax, but time can hardly rewrite itself and wait for the heroes to show up.

So anyways the effect of this seal being broken was that they all had to make saving throws.

Except Eon, magic immune jerk.

A few of them failed, and this caused their supernatural abilities to gain the always on defect. Rather fun for Kite with precognition, who could now only see the future. Furthermore he sees a future where he gets shot in hte face with a rocket launcher.

So they continue on get outside, and who's waiting for them but the spaniard with a needle firing shotgun. Already prepared for a rematch to make them turn around and go back inside.

Kaboom.

And then he got blown up by the second missile of the day.

"Ah man, I can't believe I missed twice in one day."

Enter Conjer, Eon's nemisis. Essentially, he can conjure inanimate objects from one place to another, he likes to do this with explosives and sharp pointy objects in fights.

So the rival has arrived and he's itching for a fight to avenge a yet to be named cause. (There's a reason it's not named yet, out of character Eon knows why already.) However, Conjer stops short of attacking at realizing Eon is in a party of adventurers. Which means, by attacking them, he becomes a boss. Meaning he's the bad guy! And what's worst he notes, is they're only halfay through the session, making him a mid-boss at best.

The lampshades fell off completely.

Driven to rage with this revelation he goes into a fury proclaiming he'll kill Eon but

"HUZZAH!"

Another recurring villain drops from the sky landing on top of Conjer with a crunch. He dual wields a rocket launcher and a great axe. After some conversation it's revealed he was supposed to recruit the minotaur and his name is Bob and he works for Charles. (One of the main villains of the campaign.) So, it's revealed to him that the minotaur was defeated, he gets really upset about failing his mission. Eon volenteers to beat him up so that he can tell Charles he got beat up and it wasn't his fault the minotaur was already dead. Bob thinks this is a great idea! Bob isn't very smart. However, Bob thinks he'd better fight back or Charles might be able to tell. Cue boss battle.

Essentially, Bob was taken down with a nonlethal gun depleting him of his energy and what little mind points he had so it wasn't to hard. There is one important thing though. Before going down, Bob shot Kite in the face with a rocket launcher for 85 damage. Kite then stole his axe after Bob went down. Think Eon stole the rocket launcher.

Then the party is trying to figure out what to do next, as there aren't any plot hooks for them to go anywhere. Then it dawns on them, that their mission was to kill the minotaur. Meaning they finished that last session. As a result, since they they could have requested the homebase to teleport them back, making this entire fiasco pointless. So, they get teleported back home.

Except Eon. Immune to magic, he had to go catch a plane. ^_^

And now next week, they're heading to Scotland to fight the Loch Ness Monster!

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Alright I've finally got an idea for something to write here, mostly a log of sorts of different role plays I'm involved in.

So anyways, if mentioning one for a first time I'll give a bit of background information on it so here we go.

I'm running a B.E.S.M. campaign right now, (long story and short it's DND meets anime) and the primary storyline follows the party belonging to a secret police force located in London Underground. The campaign takes place in the year 2011, and naturally has a lot to do with the end of the world as we know it. Essentially the party has 12 months to prevent the end of the world. So anyways, they're not doing a very good job. On the last day of each month they've met a strange girl who appears to be about 5 years old and dresses as a gothica lolita. Introducing the big bad. So, after a couple epic fights in which the party was forced to retreat she broke a supernatural seal essentially causing every living thing sensitive to magic on the face of the planet to go axe-crazy. Coincidentally dragons, phoenixes, cyclops, and Godzilla all exists in this universe but are just in hiding or invisible to norms. Not so much anymore.

So the last session started, the party is essentially doing damage control trying to take down the more dangerous supernatural creatures before society is destroyed. So, the first stop was Greece to fight the Minotaur.

First they had to locate the labyrinth it was locked up in before it can escape. So they wind up in a rural village and after much looking around have no freaking clue where to go. Luckily, chance was going to find it for them.

The party had a half-dragon girl in it, who rode on the back of a nine tailed fox. Or was it three tailed? I forget. The point is, they're quite obviously not normal humans/animals. (Who isn't insane thanks to the party being in another dimension when the magic seal was broken.) So anyways, they're in a normal human village with no monsters or anything, and she walks straight into town. To be fair, she was an illusionist. However, she critically failed putting up an illusion, and so thought she was covered in a veil when it was blatantly obvious she screwed it up.

And the party had all split up so no one was there to tell her this. Hooray.

So, yeah, a dragon walks into the middle of a rural human village. Panic ensues.

Except as anyone even slightly genre savvy has likely guessed, the village isn't entirely normal. Oh sure they're humans, and they don't have magic, but they're not quite normal humans. However, that's to be discussed shortly.

One party member sees the dragon, realizes they screwed up, and gets a brilliant idea. Making a disguise check, they dress up as a red sentai ranger, and jump out to pretend fight it. At the same time he shouts things about catching their show on Saturdays. If they were in a normal village this might have worked. Instead.

Click-click. Blam.

Dragon girl drops to the ground unconscious with a needle sticking out of her back.

Click-click. Blam.

Power Ranger barely dodges the needle. Enter a man wearing a trench coat, an outback hat, and sporting a Spanish accent. Yeah, the party now has to fight a smexy hunter who thinks they're all demons.

So him and the Sentai Ranger go at it for a few rounds neither one gaining a significant advantage and it's shortly becoming a battle of who can endure the longest. Then.

Hunter: It seems I can not out last you. However you see I know something you do not. Up to this point I've purely been showing off. You see, I am one member of a squad.

Yeah, he was mostly just distracting the guy while the rest of the squad got shots lined up. Ten guns go off. It was statistically possible for the player to have dodged them all, except one of the mooks rolled a critical success.

Blam.

And the party goes down.

The party later wakes up in the actual labyrinth. Turns out, the squad was a group of Hunters who used non lethal force to take down supernatural baddies and then set them loose inside the labyrinth where they would be still alive, but out of the way. Power Ranger takes off his costume and changes back to his Super Spy form. At this point he's the only one who can see straight, and it's revealed the labyrinth is actually pretty easy to escape. Except when the party tries to follow him they found themselves getting lost and just deeper into it, turns out the place is magically enchanted to mess with their senses, but Mister Spy is immune to magic so can't really bother. However, he goes to the center anyways to find the minotaur.

Well, they find a village at the center of the labyrinth, and not one occupied by goblins or David Bowie. Yes, there were lots of David Bowie references this session. So, they eventually talk to a cryptic old man who tells them a story about how years ago society had split in half. Those who wished to maintain a masquerade of fantasy creatures not existing remained above ground while those who wished to live along side them rather than cater to the whims of normal humans went underground. He remarks it was the idea of a great political leader at the time, the minotaur. After his story he mentions that he heard the Greeks tell it differently. Anyways in the village, the supernaturals have like everywhere else gone insane, but they've already been chained up as the village just waits for them to regain their senses.

Except the party has a mission.

So Spy breaks into the house where the minotaur is kept. He finds where the minotaur is kept locked up, and attempts to execute him. Minotaur breaks free in another moment anyone even slightly genre savvy can see coming and an epic fight breaks out. The active party members rush to help him, except for one who got distracted by mushrooms and spent the rest of the session picking them.

So, the fight rages on, and eventually the minotaur critically succeeds an attack with a hoof to the head. Spy goes down for the counter at -19 HP and bleeding. They're not dead till they reach 20. A healer is on duty, but since he uses magic to heal, yeah the guy is immune to magic. So, at this point it seems more or less hopeless.

But Average Joe Cop rushes in to save the party! And promptly gets cut in half by the minotaur cause he had a crappy average dodge roll.
 

So yeah the party is either dead/dieing or useless at this point and all hope is lost.

Then the player who had been trying to join all night but couldn't get his connection to work suddenly managed to get in the chat room.

So he comes running in, chucking a healing med kit at the party, and then ripping the minotaurs head off with a clawed weapon. Yeah, he critically hit for roughly over a thousand damage.

The minotaur goes down.

Then the party has a long conversation, Spy is still bleeding on the floor as everyone has neglected to heal him.

Then the minotaur got up, and was immediately downed again as the party realized it was regenerating. Meanwhile.

Spy: Bleeds.

The party finally realizes he's still unconcsious waiting to be healed, so does so, and then he uses his rocket boots to incinerate the minotaur's body into ashes. Hooray rocket boots! Except they had cut the head off, which bit a chunk of 68 damage out of the hero that saved the party. Head gets shot and then incinerated to ashes. Party gets ready to leave.

The third predictible twist comes.

The old man is not happy they killed the minotaur.

Party turns invisble, old man casts fireball.

Dramatic zoom out, entire building explodes, and they get a To Be Continued message.

So yes a fun time was had by all. Except the average Joe, he kinda got cut into three pieces. Whoops.


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